Ah, parent-teacher conferences. Exhausting for teachers, nerve-wracking for students, and just as stressful for parents.
And yet, the system continues, because meeting with parents can make a real difference. Consistent check-ins help everyone stay focused on the student’s progress.
One of my coworkers once described the school system as a tricycle: the student is the front wheel; teachers are one back wheel; and families are the other back wheel.
Parent-teacher conferences get those back wheels moving in the same direction so the child can move forward.
Still, conference season isn’t easy.
Many new teachers wonder how to prepare for parent-teacher conferences, what to say (or avoid saying) during them, and how to follow up afterward.
That’s why I’m writing a three-part series on conferences:
- Part 1: How to prepare before the conference (this post)
- Part 2: What to say and do during the conference
- Part 3: How to follow up after the conference
Ready? Let’s start with preparation.
What should I do to prepare for a Parent-Teacher Conference?
The best way to prepare for parent-teacher conferences is to start early – ideally in the first week of school. You don’t need final grades yet, but you should begin noticing how each student behaves and performs.
One simple method is to keep a class list handy and jot down quick notes at the end of the day. You don’t have to write about every student right away; start with a few, then fill in the rest over time.
Focus on specific, observable details like:
- Struggles with double-digit addition
- Shows leadership in group work
As conference time approaches, combine these notes with the student’s grades to complete a planning tool (like this one).
Doing this early saves you from scrambling mid-conference and gives you a full-year perspective, not just a snapshot from the few weeks before report cards.
What if I don’t remember the student That Well?
Even with great notes, it’s normal to blank on a student, especially if you teach many students.
When that happens, keep a few genuine, positive comments ready for parents:
- Your child is a pleasure to have in class.
- I can always count on your child to help.
- Your child gets along well with everyone.
If a student hasn’t stood out to you for unusual behavior – good or bad – these statements are likely accurate. (Why is it that the misbehaving students are always the ones we remember first?)
How should I talk about Grades?
When preparing for parent-teacher conferences, focus on a student’s progress rather than just their current performance.
For example, instead of saying “Alex is getting a C in math,” you might say, “At the beginning of the year, Alex struggled with math and had a D at midterms. Since then, he’s worked hard in class and in small groups, and he’s raised his grade to a C. I’m really proud of his effort!”
If a grade has dropped, state the facts, avoid blame, and offer possible reasons and solutions.
For instance, “Alex started with a B, but his grade recently slipped to a C. We began the year with algebra, and now we’re in geometry, which many students find challenging. I’ll be giving Alex and a few others extra support to help get them back on track.”
Before the conference, note both current and previous grades so you can discuss a student’s progress with confidence. A tool like [this one] makes it easy to keep organized.
How should I talk about Behavior?
When preparing for parent-teacher conferences, think about behavior in three categories:
- Positive leaders – students who consistently make good choices and inspire others.
- Negative leaders – students who are disruptive often influence others to follow their poor choices.
- Everyone else – generally well-behaved with no standout patterns.
For students in the “everyone else” group, a simple, true comment works well in a conference: “Your child is polite and well-behaved.” You can also note emerging strengths, like budding leadership skills.
(Often with some encouragement and the belief of their family and of their teacher, these turn out to be leaders too!)
When discussing challenging behaviors, avoid assumptions about causes. Describe what you observe instead: “Your child frequently falls asleep in class, and when she’s woken up, she growls and snaps at people.”
Regardless of what types of choices the child makes, be very careful not to compare the student to others.
If there’s a time when you need to call out age-discrepant behavior (a third grader who hits people who walk too close to her desk, for example), talk about the student in comparison with “same-age peers.:
You might say, “I’m a little worried about Jasmine because she has been hitting classmates when they walk by her desk. This isn’t something I typically see with most third-graders. Does she do things like this at home?”
This way, the conference becomes a collaboration rather than a confrontation.
Can this conference tool help you?
Yes! This one-page conference template helps you record and review a student’s academic progress and behavior patterns before conferences start.
This template is the exact one I’ve used for years to keep track of student progress. I can quickly reference grades, progress notes, and examples without scrambling.
Parents see I’m prepared and have taken time to understand their child’s strengths and struggles.
And really, that’s what every parent wants: to know you care about their child as much as they do.
Download the free template here and be ready for your next conference by tomorrow.
(P.S. The template works no matter what grade you teach!)
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